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Of crushed leaves and confused hearts... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Ayaka Usami

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I'm in hell. Officially. [Dec. 23rd, 2004|07:25 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |scaredscared]

He's coming home.

 He's coming to see me.

 And I told him.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?!?!?

A lady never uses words such as those.

 I tried to tell him to stay, but he hung up. wouldn't listen. Gone.

 I can't let him sacrifice his career on my account. It just isn't right. But no matter where I run to...I'm sure he'll find me. And for once...that doesn't make me happy. I'm a scarlet woman now, why can't he see that?! I see it. That's all I can see at the moment.

Private to TatsuhaCollapse )

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OOC: Ayaka/Hiro conversation (on the phone) [Dec. 23rd, 2004|07:19 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |apatheticapathetic]

Where she tells him...Collapse )

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I don't know what to say anymore. [Dec. 19th, 2004|08:19 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne]

I've eaten today for the first time in days. and somehow I managed to borrow Tatsuha's computer to make this small entry.

I'm not sure what to do anymore. Bad Luck leaves soon and it's the last thing on my mind.

I'm a horrible person. Horrible girlfriend. I sort of wish they'd killed me back in that alley. It would be better than the life I've got now.

I'm going to the hospital tomorrow (--private to Tatsuha--to see if I'm pregnant--/private to Tatsuha--) . Wish me luck.

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place...
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OOC - Tatsu's Tohma audition! [Dec. 14th, 2004|08:06 pm]
Ayaka Usami

Located under cut, of course. Comments are screened. Get out there and vote, people! <strike>and pray that Ayaka will be okay...</strike>

 

Application found heeere...Collapse )

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OOC: Ayaka/Tatsuha AIM Log. [Dec. 13th, 2004|01:31 am]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |blahblah]

[As the community is currently going under new leadership, I will be posting the result of our story here on Ayaka's journal.]
[At the present time, Ayaka will not be around to read or respond to comments left here. She is in a state of distress, and thus if a character wishes to contact her, they MUST talk to Tatsuha. Because at the moment, it will be a significant time that has passed without hearing from her. So, characters should be sort of worried by this point.]

PS- I know that my font changed over this. That was just my copying/pasting job. Sorry.

PPS- I suggest that everyone read this, even if it doesn't affect your character and you have nothing to say. It is a turning point for Ayaka, at least, and perhaps Tatsuha too. So read, okay?

Ayaka/Tatsuha log. If you comment, it'll be counted as OOC commentary. Thanks.Collapse )

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What a week! [Dec. 12th, 2004|06:26 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |restlessrestless]

It honestly just flew by, and only now have I found time to sit down and write a decent entry!

Anyways, I think I've got almost all of my shopping done. Although you'd be surprised how hard it is to shop for people so wealthy, they must have everything. Eiri-san...Bad Luck....I did my best, okay? I hope you like my Christmas gifts to you.

And now, even after all of that, I need to get out and do something for myself. I've never really been much of a social person, and I never did go to parties in high school. What is there to do in Tokyo? Is anyone free? Could anyone suggest something?

If not, it'll be another night of movies and popcorn for Ayaka. and I'm getting tired of it.
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And I was JUST drinking a cappucino... [Dec. 5th, 2004|09:47 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |blankblank]


What The Hell Happened Last Night?
LJ Username
What did you drink?
You wake up in the morning next to: angst_writer
...who is wearing: an air stewardess uniform
...and rolls over to you to say: You disgusting little subby bitch...
...and then: nibbles your neck
This cool quiz by joneccleston - Taken 136572 Times.
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New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz



I'll never drink them again o_o;

The last few days have been really busy. As I'm just learning the ropes of making mixed coffee drinks, there's been a lot of business, and this is the first time I've been able to sit down at my LJ for awhile.

I think on my day off tomorrow I'll curl up at home and watch a few good movies. Does anyone have any recommendations? I like fantasy films and sappy movies. And no violence or horror movies! I get scared easily...and I'll be alone so I won't have anyone to hold onto.

I also just noticed that Christmas is coming. What does everyone want? leave me a reply if you've got a Christmas wish.

I'll write some more tomorrow, when I'm well-rested! ^_^
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Watch out, world! [Dec. 1st, 2004|07:30 am]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |energeticenergetic]

I, Usami Ayaka, am a working girl!

I sent an application seeking a job position last week, and just yesterday the manager called, saying he had a place for me!

It's nothing too elaborate. I'm working at a European style pastry/coffee/cafe shop in one of the nicer districts of Tokyo, where the residents are known to leave good tips. I think that, for once, my high society background has finally done me some good.

I start there in just under two hours, which means this'll be a quick entry as I want to get there early for the lunch rush. I'll be waitressing, as well as making sandwiches and drinks. Nothing that's terribly difficult, but until I find something that I truly wish to do, this'll be fine.

I just haven't found my true calling yet. I hope that I will soon.

I also hope that no one comes to embarrass me at work...I cannot get fired on my first day, week, month, year...just too traumatic.

But I suppose this means I can make a good cup of coffee ^-^

and I'll be late if I don't leave now! More later!
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Phone message, plus Eiri [Nov. 28th, 2004|03:32 pm]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

(This message was left on Ayaka's answering machine:)

 ...Ayaka... hi it's Hiro. You said something in your journal about going out, and I was hoping you were free tonight so I could take you and Suguru and maybe Shuichi - no, wait, Shuichi's going to Yuki's tonight... never mind how about you and me and Suguru go and party up the town sound good? well wait you're not there... *sigh* I hope you come back soon and give me a call, if not... I'll miss you. Um, bye.

Well, at least he cares enough about me to call.

Hiro - I would love to go out later. What was this I hear about you possibly getting drunk? You know better. I hope. Feel free to give me a call later.

 

...I really just can't believe Eiri decided to meet with me. When I called him, I half expected him to give me a cold shoulder. Like he'd want nothing to do with me at all.

So why did he agree?

God...I must have sounded like a heartless...something before. I used to think he was the only male in my life that could make me happy. The only one I'd ever need.

And I was wrong about that.

I wonder if Eiri is forgiving me too easily and too quickly...he can't trust me as much as our phone conversation made it sound like. But really...I think he was just trying to go back to sleep instead of talking to me. Isn't that silly? I doubt it.

Today, though, I've spent most of the day baking. It's really been a chance for me to break in my new kitchen, and at the moment I have stacks of cookies and cakes on the dining room table, which I know I cannot eat all on my own. Perhaps I should invite some friends over to help me...because all this sugar, cake, chocolate, and frosting is rather tempting.

Any takers?

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Work work work... [Nov. 27th, 2004|01:09 am]
Ayaka Usami
[mood |restlessrestless]

...I need a job.

After spending the past few days unpacking my things into my new apartment, I've finally had some time to regain my thoughts.

I rather like the new place. It's been painted a lovely shade of light blue before I moved in, and with some art on the walls and my tea supplies in their appropriate places of the main room, I think it'll suit me just fine. Perhaps the most interesting aspect about all of this is cooking for myself, something that I was spared from back home in Kyoto.

Now, it's not as if I can't. I won't be setting the kitchen on fire anytime soon. It's just that I -haven't- before. It's just...I've never really had to. I'm starting off simple: homemade ramen, udon, stir fry. I'm debating about trying to make gyotza before the end of the week, but I'm not keen on dealing with oil on a frying pan. I remember watching mother cook them as a child, and how she used to cry out lightly when the hot oil came in contact with her skin.

I'd like to not screw up that badly.

But ignoring all of that...I need something that'll bring in just a little bit of income. I think this is more or less due to the fact that I promised father that if I didn't find work, a suitable means of supporting myself, I'll be going back home to Kyoto sooner then I'd like.

And on top of everything else, I don't want that to happen.

I also should get in touch with Eiri soon. Perhaps he could accept me as not wanting to be his fiancee.

I hope so. But I doubt it.

I brought this on myself...and now I'm dealing with it.

Back to the 'wanted' ads.

I need to get out and do something. Or I'll lose my sanity.
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